love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

我愛(ài)你，不是因?yàn)槟闶且粋€(gè)怎樣的人，而是因?yàn)槲蚁矚g與你在一起時(shí)的感覺(jué)。

No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won‘t make you cry.

沒(méi)有人值得你流淚，值得讓你這么做的人不會(huì)讓你哭泣。

The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can‘t have them.

失去某人，最糟糕的莫過(guò)于，他近在身旁，卻猶如遠(yuǎn)在天邊。

Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

縱然傷心，也不要愁眉不展，因?yàn)槟悴恢钦l(shuí)會(huì)愛(ài)上你的笑容。

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

對(duì)于世界而言，你是一個(gè)人;但是對(duì)于某個(gè)人，你是他的整個(gè)世界。

Don‘t waste your time on a man/woman, who isn‘t willing to waste their time on you.

不要為那些不愿在你身上花費(fèi)時(shí)間的人而浪費(fèi)你的時(shí)間。

Just because someone doesn‘t love you the way you want them to, doesn‘t mean they don‘t love you with all they have.

愛(ài)你的人如果沒(méi)有按你所希望的方式來(lái)愛(ài)你，那并不代表他們沒(méi)有全心全意地愛(ài)你。

Don‘t try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

不要著急，最好的總會(huì)在最不經(jīng)意的時(shí)候出現(xiàn)。

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

在遇到夢(mèng)中人之前，上天也許會(huì)安排我們先遇到別的人;在我們終于遇見(jiàn)心儀的人時(shí)，便應(yīng)當(dāng)心存感激。

Don‘t cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

不要因?yàn)榻Y(jié)束而哭泣，微笑吧，為你的曾經(jīng)擁有.

1、I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

開(kāi)始我直接求上帝賜輛自行車(chē)。 后來(lái)我琢磨上帝辦事兒不是這個(gè)路數(shù)。 于是老子偷了一輛然后求上帝寬恕。

2、I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

我希望能像爺爺那樣，安靜地在睡夢(mèng)中死去…… 而不是要像他開(kāi)的車(chē)上那些慘叫滴乘客一樣死法啊!

3、Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

你永遠(yuǎn)不能戰(zhàn)勝一個(gè)純SB,因?yàn)樗麜?huì)把你的智商拉到跟他個(gè)水平,然后用豐富的經(jīng)驗(yàn)打敗你

4、The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

翻譯器直譯：在這個(gè)世界上,我最不愿意做的事就是傷害你,但是這件事仍在我的考慮之列。

意譯a：我真不想傷害你，但你也別逼我。

意譯b：吾雖不殺伯仁，伯仁由我而死。

5、If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...

a. 如覺(jué)嘿咻乃屁眼不能承受之痛，那是你操錯(cuò)洞...

b. 若XXOO是下體的痛，那么，是你操錯(cuò)。

6、The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

a. 早起滴小鳥(niǎo)有蟲(chóng)蟲(chóng)!晚到的老鼠有奶酪!

b. 早起的鳥(niǎo)兒有蟲(chóng)吃，早起的蟲(chóng)兒被鳥(niǎo)吃。

7、We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

在咱們這噶噠送外賣(mài)的都比警察來(lái)的快.

8、Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

XXOO就象打橋牌。 如果對(duì)手不好使，自己的手必須好使。

9、 Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

有些人就像 Slinkies (彈簧玩具)，沒(méi)什么實(shí)在用處，但看他們?cè)跇翘萆系跪v來(lái)?yè)v騰去還是很有喜感。

10、Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

政客和紙尿布有一個(gè)共同點(diǎn)就是：他們都很有規(guī)律地被替換，而且因?yàn)橥粋€(gè)理由——臟了!!

11、War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)不能決出正義，但能判出哪方出局。

12、Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship

.

a. 女人的高潮可能是裝出來(lái)的。但是男人TMD可以整段感情都是裝出來(lái)的!

b. 女人假裝高潮以獲取真實(shí)的感情;男人假裝感情以獲取真實(shí)的高潮。

13、We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

我們永遠(yuǎn)不可能真正的成熟，我們只是學(xué)會(huì)在眾人面前裝逼。

14、Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

男人就兩種狀態(tài)：餓 和 性饑渴。 要是他不硬，就給他個(gè)三明治!

15、Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

光總是比聲音跑的快點(diǎn)....這就是為嘛有些SB只有在開(kāi)口說(shuō)話之后你才發(fā)現(xiàn)他是在裝B...

16、My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

我媽每次對(duì)著我罵草泥馬的時(shí)候都沒(méi)看出其中笑點(diǎn)。

17、I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

曾以為我想要的是職業(yè)，結(jié)果發(fā)現(xiàn)我只是想要工資。

18、If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

你要是覺(jué)得沒(méi)人在乎你的死活,那你不妨嘗試一下跟你的債主玩躲貓貓~~

19、Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

XXOO并不是結(jié)論而是個(gè)問(wèn)題...爽不爽才是答案...

20、Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed totell you why it isn't.

晚間新聞總是以“晚上好”開(kāi)頭，再告訴你你為什么好不了。

21、How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

直譯：一根火柴能點(diǎn)著整片森林，一盒火柴也生不起個(gè)營(yíng)火，這咋回事!

意譯：想當(dāng)年哥戴套都能讓人懷孕，看今朝叔竟然去看男科

22、If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?

如果4/5的人在忍受腹瀉的痛苦，那剩下1/5咋回事?很享受嗎?

23、Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

翻譯器直譯：知識(shí)就是說(shuō)你知道西紅柿是一種水果;智慧就好似不要把它放進(jìn)水果沙拉里。

意譯a：知識(shí)就是告訴你說(shuō)應(yīng)該把雞蛋放進(jìn)籃子，智慧則是叫你不要把所有雞蛋都放進(jìn)一個(gè)籃子。

意譯b:所謂知識(shí)就是知道韓少和小四都屬于80后，但智慧告訴你這終還是男女有別~

24、If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

上帝瞅著咱們呢，大伙好歹喜感點(diǎn)吧!