Nearly everyone is taught as a kid that lying is bad, but the truth is that society puts up with so much falsehood that many people become liars while thinking they are truthful. Little lies like embellishing your resume or being nice so you won't hurt the feelings of others seem innocuous and yet often establish a pattern of deceit that fools even the deceiver. Ryan Lochte most likely could not distinguish between exaggeration or lying in his recent incident. In truth, the same is true for many of your friends, family and colleagues. In fact, a 2002University of Massachusetts study showed that 60% of adults will lie at least once in any 10-minute conversation. It's not that these people think of themselves as dishonest. That is probably the first lie they tell each day! After all, most untruth starts with a lie you tell yourself. In this world of fabrication, you need to protect yourself. You need to tell the truthful from the liars. To help you spot them right away, here is what research experts tell us about how people behave when they lie. We included links to the sources so you know we are telling the truth.
幾乎每個人都曾被教育撒謊可恥,但事實卻是,這個社會正遭受著不計其數的謊言,很多人成了撒謊者,然而,那些撒謊者自己卻認為他們的想法是真實的。小的謊言,如那些用于裝飾自己的履歷或者假裝友好以免傷害他人的行為都是無傷大雅的。而且他們那樣的欺騙行為甚至連他們自己都信了。Ryan Lochte在他最近的一些事情中幾乎區(qū)分不出夸張或者撒謊,其實,你身邊的朋友,家人以及同事都是這樣的。事實上,一份2002年麻省大學的研究表明,百分之六十的成年人至少每隔十分鐘就會撒一次謊,而且這些人是不會認為自己是不誠實的。那可能是因為他們每天都會撒一個謊,畢竟,大部分謊言是從自我欺騙開始的。在這虛虛假假的世界,你得保護自己,你得知道辨別真?zhèn)巍榱藥湍惚鎰e出那些虛假的東西,專家們給了我們以下提示,關于人們在撒謊時是如何行為的。我們給予了相關鏈接,這樣,你就不會認為我們是在撒謊了。
1. They don't volunteer specifics
1.他們通常不主動暴露細節(jié)
People who are lying often say little as possible when they are initially questioned. They keep their stories short, while truthful people give details. The problem with lying is that you have to remember what you said, so less is better.
撒謊的人當他們剛開始被問到時,往往不喜說多。他們的故事往往較短,而誠實的人會說出細節(jié)。因為如果你撒謊,你就得記住你所說的,所以越少越好。
2. They groom frequently
2.他們會頻繁小動作
Liars don't generally fidget — in fact, research shows we often stay more physically still when we are being untruthful. But, small gestures can still be a telling indicator. According to theCIA, while lying, people are likely to touch their upper bodies often: rubbing hair or eyes, touching the cheek or mouth, scratching, adjusting clothing or glasses. Small, but frequent, movements can be an indicator that the speaker is hiding something.
撒謊的人一般不會坐立不安,事實上,研究顯示,我們在撒謊時,往往更容易故作鎮(zhèn)靜。但,一個小小的姿勢或者動作就會暴露撒謊的人。據美國中央情報局稱,人們在撒謊時可能會經常觸碰上部分身體,比如:搓頭發(fā)或者擦眼睛,觸摸面頰或者嘴,抓或者調整衣服、眼鏡。經常做的那些小動作可能暗示著說謊人在隱藏什么。
3. Their texts or e-mails wander off topic
3.他們的文本或者郵件內容往往跑題
If you send a query and someone's reply does everything BUT answer your question, that can be a sign of intentional evasion. Of course, they may claim they didn't read it carefully...which itself might not be the whole truth.
如果你發(fā)問,而某人回答的很多,就是不回答你的正題,那就是一種有意逃避的信號。當然,他們可能會說他們沒認真讀之類的借口,這些借口往往就是在撒謊。
4. They repeat the questions
4.他們會重復問題
Untruthful people are more likely to repeat the question they have just been asked before they offer an answer. They may be buying time to create a story or recall the details they've already given. Perhaps they are in the process of convincing themselves that the malarkey they are spouting is actually the truth.
撒謊的那些人在回答問題前可能會去重復問題,他們這么做,可能是為了爭取時間來編制故事或者回想他們之前已經提供好了的細節(jié)。也或許他們正努力說服自己,讓自己相信說的那些話確實是真的。
5. They exert a lot of physical and mental energy on defending themselves
5.他們需用大量的體力或者精力來為自己辯析
In denying guilt, responsibility, or blame, people will often give long, vigorous justifications or explanations for their thoughts or choices. They may be working just as hard to convince themselves as they are the listener, and their voices and body language will show that effort.
在否認罪行的過程中,人們經常會因為責任或責備需要給予他的想法、選擇以長的、有力的辯護。他們可能會盡力讓自己相信,他們自己只是聽眾,實際上,他們的聲音和肢體語言會敗露一切。
6. They avoid the word 'I'
Liars instinctively want to distance themselves from both the lie and the situation. They often use passive phrasing, avoid discussion of their personal thoughts or feelings, and choose third person pronouns. If the untruth focuses on someone else, this gives more plausible deniability.
6.他們會故意避開“我”這個稱呼
7. Your gut is telling you something is off
撒謊者們會本能地想要讓自己與謊言以及當時的情形劃清界限。他們經常使用被動短語,避開他們個人想法和感覺的交流,并且會選用第三人稱。如果謊言集中于另一個人身上,這就給予了更多的貌似合理的推諉借口。
The truth is that most people have better success identifying lies vs. truths when they rely on instinct. Perhaps there is a natural sensitivity because most people lie in some form or another?
7.你的直覺會暗示到你
事實是,在對于區(qū)別謊言和真相的事情上,大部分人的直覺還是很靈的。也許是因為本能,或者是不是因為大部分人撒謊時都會以某種形式或者什么其他的呢?