第十單元 推展段落方法之三——描述法
10.1描述法
敘述講述發(fā)生了什么事情,描述(description)則向讀者描繪某事物的樣子、聲音、味道等等。作者可以通過外表、行動(dòng)或變化用語言描繪一個(gè)人,一個(gè)物體,一個(gè)地方或一個(gè)場(chǎng)面。
示范段落10-1
A tsunami is a great wave or series of waves.It extends from the surface to the sea floor and moves the entire vertical section of ocean through which it speeds.The greater the ocean depth,the faster the tsunami travels.Speeds of up to 600 mph have been reached.Toward land it slows down as the bottom of the wave drags on the seabed;its crest rises from fifty to a hundred feet or more.
10.2示范段落分析
主題句:A tsunami is a great wave or series of waves.
細(xì)節(jié)1:extention
細(xì)節(jié)2:speed(statistics used)
細(xì)節(jié)3:height(statistics used)
在上面段落中,作者用細(xì)節(jié)(包括數(shù)據(jù))描述了海嘯的寬度(extention)、速度(speed)和高度(height),從而告訴讀者海嘯是什么樣子。
示范段落10-2
The kitchen was in a mess.Along the left wall were the counter and sink covered with dirty dishes and garbage.On the far wall the washing machine groaned under a load of filthy clothes.Right next to the door where I was standing,on my right,I saw at able cluttered with old newspapers,an overturned catsup bottle,and a wet,half-eaten hot dog.At the far end of the right wall the refrigerator stood with the door ajar and milk dripping down from the top shelf.It was the messiest kitchen I had ever seen.
10.3示范段落分析
主題句:The kitchen was in a mess.
細(xì)節(jié)1:Along the left wall—counter and sink
細(xì)節(jié)2:On the far wall—washing machine
細(xì)節(jié)3:Right next to the door,on my right—table
細(xì)節(jié)4:At the far end of the right wall—refrigerator
結(jié)論句:It was the messiest kitchen I had ever seen.
10.4關(guān)于如何寫描述段落的建議
1)主題句給讀者一個(gè)深刻的印象
寫一段好的描述段落要注意兩個(gè)方面:首先給讀者一個(gè)深刻的印象(a dominant impression),然后運(yùn)用充分的細(xì)節(jié)(aptdetails)。這種深刻的印象必須首先吸引讀者,因此不要在主題句中用太瑣碎的東西沖淡這一印象。
比較下面兩個(gè)主題句:
a.The kitchen is in a mess.
b.The kitchen is a place where the hostess does almost all the housework and as a consequence it is not always attractive and neat.
顯然,前一句主題句比后一句更吸引讀者,因?yàn)樗芙o人以更深刻的印象。
2)提供充足的細(xì)節(jié)
具體和生動(dòng)的細(xì)節(jié)是成功的描述所不可缺少的。在示范段落10-1中,作者通過海嘯外表的生動(dòng)細(xì)節(jié)以及速度和高度的具體數(shù)據(jù)描述海嘯。在示范段落10-2中,在主題句后,作者提供細(xì)節(jié)描繪廚房是怎樣的亂七八糟。記住不要提供無用的細(xì)節(jié)使讀者失望。
3)使用空間順序法(space order)組織段落
好的描述還在于把一大堆具體的細(xì)節(jié)按空間順序組成一個(gè)整體(關(guān)于空間順序法見第12單元)。在示范段落10-1,作者按照從表面到海底,從遠(yuǎn)到近的順序描繪。在示范段落10-2中,作者按照從左到右,從近到遠(yuǎn)的順序描繪。
4)使用有新意的明喻和暗喻
明喻(Similes)和暗喻(metaphors)可使描述更加生動(dòng)。但要盡量避免使用已經(jīng)用得太濫的比喻。
Exercise 10-1
Directions:Write a paragraph of description,describing a student dormitory.
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Exercise 10-2
Directions:Write a paragraph of desccription,describing a natural phenomenon that you are familiar with.
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